HOW MUCH DO YOU FAKE? SURVIVAL TACTICS MASQUERADING AS PLEASURE

How Much Do You Fake? Survival Tactics Masquerading as Pleasure

How Much Do You Fake? Survival Tactics Masquerading as Pleasure

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Survival Tactics Masquerading as Pleasure

Not all moans mean yes.
Not every “I liked it” means I did.
And not every touch we allow is one we want.

Sometimes, what looks like pleasure
is just survival in disguise.

????️ Faking Isn’t Always Lying—Sometimes It’s Coping

We learn early how to adapt:

  • Smile when it’s uncomfortable

  • Say yes when we mean maybe

  • Disappear into roles that get approval

By the time we get to the bedroom,
these patterns don’t just disappear.
They go undercover—
disguised as enthusiasm, ease, even ecstasy.

But beneath the “performance,”
many of us are managing fear,
people-pleasing, or detachment.

We’re not bad at intimacy—
we’re just fluent in survival.

???? Pleasure as a Script, Not a Signal

Sex should be about feeling,
but for many, it becomes a script:

  • Laugh at the right time

  • Moan on cue

  • Don’t ask for too much

  • Look grateful

  • Finish fast

  • Don’t cry, even when it hurts

We become actors in our own bodies,
hoping the other person buys the scene.

But real pleasure isn’t performance.
It’s presence.

⚠️ When the Body Says One Thing and the Mind Another

The nervous system has a language of its own.

Sometimes we go along because:

  • We freeze and can't say no

  • We're scared to disappoint

  • We think our worth depends on being wanted

  • We don’t want to “ruin the moment”

  • We were never taught how to ask for what we want

This isn’t consent.
This is compliance masked as participation.

And the cost?
Disconnection from ourselves.
Sometimes even trauma.

???? Reclaiming Truth in the Bedroom

If we want to stop faking, we must:

  • Get honest about when we’re performing

  • Tune in to what our body is actually feeling

  • Unlearn the idea that being “good in bed” means being selfless

  • Practice saying “slow down,” “not now,” or “I don’t know yet”

  • Give ourselves permission to change our mind—even mid-act

Pleasure isn’t real unless you’re in it.
Not watching yourself from above.
Not trying to keep the peace.
Not just “getting through it.”

????️ What Real Pleasure Sounds Like

Sometimes it’s loud.
Sometimes it’s soft.
Sometimes it’s:
“Wait.”
“Not like that.”
“I’m nervous.”
“Can we stop?”
“Actually, I don’t feel safe right now.”
Or even:
“I’m not sure what I want—can we figure it out together?”

The moment we stop faking is the moment we start healing.
And that healing begins
when we let our truth—not our survival—lead the way.

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